Use play to help them identify their feelings: for example, they can show different feelings in their faces (mad, sad, happy, surprised, frustrated), or you can show different faces and have them tell you how you are feeling.You wish you could go out too! I wonder if you’re afraid we will have a good time without you.” “You’re angry that you can’t come to the store with mommy and Sarah. “That’s really upsetting (disappointing, frustrating. You’re really angry that Jean colored in your book. Help them to identify what they are feeling.Give them the opportunity to talk about what they are feeling and to vent their strong emotions.Let them know you are a source of support when they are upset.Until then do not engage in a conversation. If they scream at you, or if they are older and curse at you, let your children know that that is not acceptable behavior, and that you will discuss the situation with them when they address you respectfully.“You may be angry, but you may not bite, hit, or hurt anyone.” “It is okay to be angry, but it never okay to hurt another person.” Use calm physical restraint if necessary. Stop the behavior when it crosses the line into unacceptable aggression.Separate feelings from behavior allow feelings, set limits on behaviors.If they have been accustomed to using anger successfully to persuade you to get what they want, they may escalate their anger to re-establish that dance. If you have given in to your children’s anger, hold firm and know that their anger may get worse before it gets better.If you have yelled in the past when your children have been angry, respond with a whisper. Respond in a different way to your children’s anger than you usually do.
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